Crisis mode is the new black

It seems to me like more and more we’re not normal unless we’re in the midst of a crisis.

I don’t know if it’s the effect of American Idol or it we were all raised on WWF or what, but more and more it seems like anything non-life-threatening is just boring to us.

First is was the end of the world prediction. Then the next one. Then the Mayan one. Then the Fiscal Cliff. And now we’re worried about the debt ceiling. Again.

Government shutdowns are the new norm and the possibility that we might know where our next meal or paycheck is coming from is just so passe. If we’re not living on the edge these days, it’s like we’re not living.

From the crisis that was the election to the economic crisis that followed in the months after, we’re glued to our TVs and newspapers wondering what horrible tragedy may meet us next.

I can’t help but wonder why. What is it we get out of it? Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I have a deluded view of the world and I’m the only one intrigued by these things.

In fact, there are people all around the world — even here in the US of A — that not only don’t know what the Fiscal Cliff is all about, they probably have no clue who won the American election. I either pity them or am jealous, I’m not sure which.

The latest grand plan, although I’m not sure whose plan it is, is to mint a trillion dollar coin to deal with the impending debt ceiling doom. A trillion. That’s a 1 with 12 zeros after it. It looks like this: 1,000,000,000,000.

If you worked for the next 70 years, you could easily save up a trillion dollars. Assuming of course, you didn’t eat … and you made $274.7 million a month. And some change.

To be completely honest with you, my life is kind of boring. I wake up. I eat. I putz around. I go to work. I come home. I putz around. I sleep. I repeat. On weekends, it’s a little more exciting because I actually get to spend time with my kids. And we watch movies where things blow up.

But movies where things blow up are not nearly as compelling as the possibility that the fabric of society completely unravels. Which is where we’ve constantly been for the past few years.

I mean, really. Your life pales in comparison to the impending doom predicted by some Mayan thousands of years ago who created a calendar which allegedly foretold the end of the world, right?

So we take the latest crisis and we hang on in hopes that it will be more exciting than the last crisis, which — let’s be honest — was a little ho hum, right?

Maybe some day we’ll go back to just living our lives. Going to work. Sleeping. And watching Bourne movies with the kids.

Until then, bring out the trillion dollar coin.

Scott Leffler majored in sarcasm in college. He had a double minor in apathy and lunch. Feel free to make a futile effort of following his twisted logic on Twitter @scottleffler.